Musings on the eve of Z's third

"I used to be much too keen to change everything, I think, as if no one else had ever tried before."

So reads an apt line from an above-average Sci-Fi piece tonight. Just crossing off days as the calendar year draws to an end. It really is in the return from the travel experiment that you can fully grasp the thoughts triggered. The truth unveiled in a way that speaks loudly in silent thoughts. Thinking back to those few moments in which what was next wasn't more welcome than the present, even soaked in that freedom. And the recognition of that elusiveness making it all the more powerful.

Good thoughts, looking forward to... Wait, find another expression... shall enjoy talking it over more these holidays with the family, as you brace for a year or two more before the past amounts are properly paid and J future claims control of the cash flow once more. Okay if the time is used wisely, to work the body, delve into the new world of a language, and finally pick up the pad and pen for real. I have come around very strongly to this new-fashioned reality, even knowing how these visions get tinkered.

But at the root of all it's about "want". There may be mystery in the ceaseless exploration quests and toxic indulgences that lead to joyous rapture and lost visions, but long ago you lost your seriousness and need to know the whys. Rather, it all lies in the going.

Still got a lot of leaving left to do. Ah. Funny what you remember. What comes back. What you choose to record. The giggling girls brought home by the bouncer with assault charge pending. The video of the octopus and coconut shell. The failure to learn the days of the week in the country of residence. All the other mundane yet fascinating sport and political gossip of the hour.

What a spectacle it all is. And, almost impossibly, there's really such an infinity more, given the small scope of individual experience (as reminded by J-N odd bickerings)... So prepare thyself, sir. And then, begone again.