Status check-in

Not great.

The Europa seems miles away, a lifetime ago.  The S visit, the Russia sideshow, the firm retreats...  a blankness after the first two months back.  Uninspired and lonely and few obvious paths out.  Too much twitter negativity, too much dead-end work at the office I would prefer to avoid, and scares about being saddled with the additional responsibility.  Hours, sunsets, flickering past.  With nothing concretely new on the horizon.

How to change it?

For now, I know not.  Quitting seems too drastic for the time being, selling the place waits in the lull of needed fixes and window repair sizing issues, Lavena on the lease and your real appetite for that responsibility, the MFA for the fullness of an idea and another 12 months + application.

Argh.  What to do in the interim...

Bender week falls tomorrow, an anniversary of sorts.  Since 2012 and since 2017.  Much has been done and seen and visited.  For what though?  Toward what?  On the Liscomb hike I felt in such a hurry, unsatisfied.  I could not sit and enjoy the Clam Bay beach for similar reasons.  Unsettled.  Life at sea is not the answer, but is life on land?  Where is the task to fire the creativity and which will be found worthy of the effort?

You have some time coming up.  Confined to the Province, to this space.  Use it to Figure it out, yeah?