Rotten Yesterdays

At last both are asleep, deeply, somewhere just beyond Zanzibar.  The AirLink flight was fine without checking, the transfer desk yielded a conversation with 46-year-old Logan who loves the mountains and is just passing through en route to Seattle, but critically the bassinet, and the diner by the gate offered the chance to see Mbappe.  But again I missed the signs, how I don’t know.  The fear set in again, of the worst case scenario.  I didn’t even see it until my sampling of the first half of the wine, and the f-bombs, the God of Stupid, the low blows, so to speak.  Then all about damage limitation, instead of joining the euphoria of knowing that the “going” part is soon done, and “being in” has arrived.  That short window to enjoy before the past tense appears of a sudden to speak his piece forevermore.

How to raise it at the outset of the trip without spoiling the massive day ahead, the kickoff now less than 18 hours from what you’ve schemed for, all through 2022 and before.  Maybe just to prove a point, that something as absurd and exotic and fitting for you can be done despite the birth of the baby boy.  How finding out that it mostly enhances everything, deepens the planning in ways that push the limits of absurdity to new and entertaining heights.  

S. was right, it must be admitted.  You are about the story.  Not at the expense of not caring deeply about the characters, of course.   But the plot gets the blood racing, the good stuff Homi spoke of so long ago now.

So I’m left a bit stuck, how to “Goya Goya” through it in my own mind and stomach so it doesn’t grind away at me.  How to register the discomfort and desire for it to end.  So chance across random lines from Ralph Waldo, “Finish every day and be done with it.”

Greet the day with too high a spirit to be cambered by your old nonsense.  Indeed.  Try.  Follow the son’s meditative advice.  This word - which you knew how to spell as soon as you heard it and which he started speaking early days and keeps returning to in the same comforting moments, in a pattern of three.

This is going to be a tough day, so let’s not make it tougher.  Smile and move forward.  You are here.  The dream in your heart.  Now we just have to navigate our way to the stadium and watch the boys find a way to win…