The beginning is in the end...

Less than 9 hours to go in this year of wondrous travels and change.  The year that started with Kili and ends with a Caribbean cruise and playtime with two new nephews.  The year of partnership.  The year of Brazil and that remarkable World Cup.  The year Arsenal's trophy drought came to an end before your eyes.  The year of crisis of confidence, and Antigua not visited.  The year of hiking and camping in NS, Kedgie and Cape Breton.  The year of 4 continents, and dreams of the others.  The year of a poor physical and several unkept resolutions.  The year of salsa.  The year of Into the Woods, and the last walk on those famously lovely wooden boards.  The year of Happy.

A year of frustration too.  But perhaps with talking and time that will change, or perhaps not.  Funny to think how the year began, as part of one of the more epic adventures.  Followed by reflection on the beach in Zanzibar, on how to get back there.  You wonder how the next years will now unfold.  Will you deepen the attachments here, or will you keep one eye on that fair horizon.

I have come, almost instinctively, to think of the new position as a 3-5 year plan.  I see holding out for awhile until the cycle swings and the Canadian dollar rises anew.  By then it may be time to set off in a different course, to celebrate the 40th birthday elsewhere.  On a new path, with money enough and time.  And maybe a small ownership stake in a piece of property around here to fill the summer days, but otherwise allow for years in the world while such activities are still possible.  The South calls.  The South of Africa, and the Americas.  New Zealand.  To get back out under the open sky and partake in the ceremonies of old.  To get back to the wildness.  To get back to having the time, to lie about and relax and revel and soak in the days as they pass.  That so remains the dream, and the involvement in the firm unlikely to dilute that primal passion.

15 minutes until the first celebratory toast, the traditional Abu Dhabi Country Club cheers.  Maybe this year it is for Nasser and Thammer too.  For the babies of girlfriends past - although still waiting official word from MF and KBJ - and as hope for a clean living despite recent incomprehensible actions.  Will that last sentence even be comprehensible in the future?  Will it register what was on your mind this holiday season?  Let's hope not, it has led to awkward conversations with S and AI already and there is no need.  Just when you think you have conquered certain demons, they reiterate how unconquerable they can be.

What else?  For 2015, Turkey or Taiwan or New Orleans or St Kitts or Havana or Everest or Tibet?  I wonder.  I dream of rain.  Who shall we see, what shall occur, what beds and drinks and hikes and smiles.  What wonder?  What magic?  What newness?  What will shake you from the inability to change who you are?  What mysteries?  What?

7 minutes...  Can you pick up the short story project this year?  Can you get into a healthy routine that will provide some much-needed energy?  Can you - for fuck's sake?

Let's.  So long 2014, eventful and promising and yet you leave us on such an open-ended note.  How will things continue?  High or low, tragic, comic, or triumphant.  Begin again, we shall, we must.

Begin again.  As a stranger, 2015, I bid you welcome.