If if if IF...

...crazy few days of non-sleep and madness toying with the soul, leading up to and through the interview with doctors OC, EW, and SW (a "doctor's appointment", heh, not even a lie) this early morning. Finding sleep hard to come by, as the pressure builds in direct correlation to thoughts on how perfect this option might turn out to be in terms of the future of... well... everything. Even as tied into the current work. It so fits. I have to think the interview went well and that no more could have been done, but the uncertainty now is maddening, given the desire to leap ahead to planning how that course would play out in dreams. And so the let-down, if a rejection comes, will be massive - that is clear. Just have to live with it if there is someone out there among the other 30 applicants who managed to shine that much brighter. What will be will be. Keep up the optimism, though. Plus, if the news is positive, I cannot wait for that barbaric yawp.