Awaiting the Go/No Go

Sitting in on this call after a weekend tidying up office, room, and mind, and awaiting confirmation of status quo, or the unlikely possibility of a life-changing email in an hour or two. So much to decide this week either way. An update to follow. At least there is Zanzibar at the end of the line if van Rensburg just was not convinced enough to come around... Funny the uncertainty, befitting a wry smile and lazy dreams. Oh well. What will be, will be.

Of Girls, Shawls, and infinite Futures

So. The third of three interviews wraps up, and even mixing it up you provided probably the most disappointing of the three performances. Why not use the internet in front of you as a subtle aid on the opening question?? Oh well. I can only imagine their concerns at the elementary responses.

And Yet. You got your chance to make the blunt pitch. Might they need you in any case? Might they choose to take a flyer on a desperate man? You shall know in 60 hours or so. Should you arrange a potential martini celebration with 1991? How funny is that... And how fun at least to dream secretly in the interim, of the songs and stories that would come of this. Setting up shop in the Quays would be just so randomly glorious as to defy belief. And the fact that the PhD would be in economics all the more random and hence better. Loved Coop's response how as a professional economist he would have been floored. Dead birds though! Damn it Stransky, nice one.

Out of your hands, and so to the waterfront. Great chatting with Homi online via Turkey - has there ever been a better time than that, he asks? Hard to think of one, to be honest. That's the goal - to get back to that.

Bring it on boys. Bring it.

And so let the waves...

... Rock me gently to sleep. So much to say. "You guys know how to sail?". "Basically" follwed by ridiculous laughter with N. Inch setting the stage. The glorious stars. The idea itself, no idea of it as of a few weeks ago. How could you predict this?

Fishing in the unknown

A day after skype, and deep still lies the uncertainty over what will happen next. Such an unsettling feeling, just waiting. The last trap about to be pulled from the water from you for the season, and fingers are crossed and thumbs held that it proves a winner. All seems lined up, it would be a terrible shame to see the chance pass. BUT out of your hands. Out goes the line beside you into the water. There is some skill in the cast and the flicks and the reel and the bait. But there is luck in it. Ha! For the pursued as well as the pursuer. Just as I looked to celebrate the guy's quick catch, he drops it pulling it out of the ocean. Then a quick nibble but again a failure to raise. Could it be symbolic of Groningen, then Aarhus? Can he land the third?

Patience. It is too difficult not to allow the mind to leap ahead to the moment in time in which you see the email in the inbox. If only a fixed date at least were known. What means each day's passing? What to do in the meantime, when the mind is elsewhere. On this beautiful, beautiful day. Cuba is going to be scorching but I cannot fucking wait. Either way, map out the future there. Blank piece of paper. "Time will work it out for you."

Oh McMahon. Just... Just... Something else will come along if not. Trust in that. If if if... C'mon Suzie. Be the girl.

Lessons from Interview Two

So difficult to assess such a performance. So much I would have rather said, and so hard not to stumble over phrasing at times and to be conscious of it as the words emerge. It would have been far preferable to have been able to see all three questioners, but then again maybe not. Frustrating the key words and concepts left out that were staring you in the face, as you nervously glanced down and to the side - how much it is difficult to say, of course. And maybe the answers you prepared came off okay. Just kicking myself about the opening - so easy to anticipate, but the answer so large it is difficult to put it just so. Oh well.

I do think you can be more confident if given occasion in future, no need to be so self-deprecating in terms of specialized knowledge, even where it is the truth. Struggling, after, whether or not to send the follow-up email as well, all contrasted with how you fared against the Dutch so many mornings ago. But surely erring toward honesty is not something to get too down over.

Ultimately, it is up to the fates, I suppose. Shall it be Dublin for the forseeable future or not. Maybe it went all right after all, who can say? If it is meant to be, then you shall do it. And if not, the road is wide and open and there will be something else. What that will be is anyone's guess at this stage. It really would just be good to KNOW, comforting to find that new course. But patience, as old Arthur and the chinese fortune cookie advise. Time will show if this is the one soon enough.

Oh, I wonder.