Unsolicited Advice

“Go with Yes Dear,” says AG, a touch-point on the romantic path over the years toward The One.  “Commitment is actually freeing,” is another gem, in its accuracy pointing the way toward the experience of life and the magic of joining it so resolutely and completely with another.  To enrich perspectives and to face down incomprehensibilities and obstacles with a shared strength and will.  The lack of questioning akin to forms of faith, at its best.  A powerful evolution of the old imaginings and favoured love for randomness.  “I love love,” says this one.  And I love this one, and that above all is to know the best of life’s gifts. Blessed be the cynic, who deserves to have their eyes open, whenever and wherever or however it may happen.

No posts amidst yesterday’s chemical sadness, how close we came in the second attempt, yet alas for implantation and cramping and the flowing of all-too necessary tears as part of the process.  Resolve only further strengthened, to be sure, as well as appreciation for the miracle of it all.  Let’s test Mom’s motto that everything happens for a reason, and that all will work out for the best.  

New, Old, Best

What are the memories of this late stage, Second Innings dinner chez O’Hara?  The family grace, the focus on faith versus coincidence, randomness, the long rambling recounting of bicycle journeys, raising children advice (we will figure it out), the toasts, the stew and garlic dressing, and lasagna and mousse, the honeymoon NYC money-toll story (43 years on), the fun of the discussions afterward, the shared sense of what a marriage involves - compromise, early and often.  Obituary musings about pre-writing knowing the situation when what is written is read.  

A memorable one, for sure.  As we start this journey of disclosing this news.

Magic Mike

Nice work at the walk-in, landing the doc rated #132 of 192, and finding that to be unreasonably high.  Hopefully the IWK referral comes through, as the appointment needs to be made on the return from NL.  The costs will start to add up if they don’t get moving on the PR as well, so there is that too.  And what of international travel during trimester #2?  That and the second dose of vaccine question answered with a bedside manner worthy of a prison.  What a journey for that guy, who must be counting the hours until retirement.  Surreal.  At least the hair is done, and now the avocados can be eaten with gusto.  The countdown is on…

BFP

From Bachelor to crazy days… indeed, panicked calls to the IWK poison line and then switchboard, as you await Monday morning.  Much now to consider and arrange.  But consistent with a doable plan if Boris reopens.  The Parent report (no pun intended, but still hilarious) that drops on Wednesday will help set the plan for rebooking with Ethiopian.  

Black Tot, M’s second dose, Engagement Anniversary, Regatta screeching, and the Western Brook Fjord all part of the mix.  As Satchmo plays live from beyond the grave...  

Well done, McMahon.  The circle of life, turns inexorably.  The whirl-i-gigs of time and their revenges…

Upon The Lakecrest Deck

Back again. 4 months later.  First request here granted with ease, and as a result, the journey over the Atlantic and through customs checks safely made, now the progress ever forward to what’s next.  

Focus on the cycle and its potential interruption, the overcoming of vertigo and other ailments, the successful unfolding of the basic and inevitable.  The Reply to peripheral participants in the books, as we wait to see what the 2nd half of the work year has in store, and how London and other Visas might be conquered.  For all of these things we humbly…

Heh, what a world and experiment and incomprehensible wonder.  Happily, at this point, I would not change it.

PS.  Hair appointments and Good Luck delays make for annoying accusations of mind changing and frustrating silences.  The Croque was delicious though, and a fine day of reading lies in store.  Enjoying this Tai Chi.  All will be well, it’s funny how being tired can weigh on the patience.  Trust the process, haha.

Stinky-Winky

A first for everything.  “You are not going to let me take the fall for that poop,” she says, “go ask them for air freshener!”  All after a day of shielding off comments about cooking, cleaning, everything, all the while the NSP argument waits to be answered, in a more robust way than I had hoped.  The next 16 hours promise to be challenging.  Get through it without the world spinning around you and I’ll be impressed.

The change in attitude from “It’s not funny, J.” to the high five after the request for air freshener just a riot of complications in human interpersonal relations.  Just do your best.

The Importance of Being Ernst

40th of another.  A fine celebration, first night out of the marital bed for months.  Floating as you like it.  A circumnavigation of the Gibbon island.  Decisions of long-lasting consequence.  A raced up (spellcheck on peaceful, haha) life.  Comeau’s comments about the ability to chill, nothing matters today.  What I’m relying on is the benefit of time, he says.  Aren’t we all, until we aren’t.

More anon.

The water so lovely this morning, an icy bath of delight.  Vertiginous feelings latent but overcomable.  An experience of peace, and a sense of what an ocean-front place may yield, in future days.  Although the commitment is extraordinary, so keep it in mind.  What is to be done.  And how to write it starting next June…

Deano

Old pals.  There is something to be said about the history, the love, the magic, the old scotch and sea.  To be able to pull out the wedding zebras is a pleasure, but to have such a wife, divine.  Many stories and connections and all out.  ‘Tis a magic.  What was fun, was to say how content and happy thou art, and mean it truly.  

I meant to write about Parlee, 3:34pm, the detour to the $3 point-du-chene, which we avoided, then the shower, then…. I enjoyed it too, dear girl, and talk tonight ascends to the plans, and yet….  Tait, #4.  Alice. Heh.  

Chocolate River

Return to Hopewell, and the driver’s seat, and some sense of normalcy in the head again.  At last, it is a fearful trip, when you don’t know from whence it comes, and the inability to control it is palpable.  Fortunately the argument time got done, and with it a two night reprieve down the Fundy coast. The lighthouse overpriced and overheated, nightmares and nocturnal efforts not quite on point.  Will lucky #7 for the bill, after a day on the ocean floor and a patio supper watching the lobster fishers roll up on the tide.  The regularity of that sure is a wonder.   Dig out those old pictures, they are somewhere.

I don’t know where this latest outburst leads, but need to soon change it up in some manner.  What is the solution?  Perhaps there is not one, although that seems absurd.  Remember the Jamie drive on Xmas day?  When was that?  So long ago.  Funny to recall, here on this old couch.  How many others have been, never with these exact dilemmas, but probably not too dissimilar either.  In some ways frustrating to need to deal with the human relations if it, but in other ways essential to the life experience.  Try not to forget.  The clouds above today, as the waves beat the ocean floor amidst the muddy flower pots.

Vertigo-go

Same scenes, the basement work on AREA, delayed and then cut down by disastrous spinning sensations that will not relent.  Today was supposed to be a grand Canada Day, alas.  Reflection instead, on life and changing circumstances and the importance of ignoring procrastination and powering through.  Rest paramount, but the laptop looms.  No matter how strongly the mind wills the recovery, the body will not relent to the mind’s desires and powerful thinking.

But this too shall pass.  Must trust in that.  Nice to know the power of prayer is on my mind, if nothing else.  If only this argument was in the can.  Look back and laugh at the immature foolishness.  Hopefully.