The best of them too

Game 7.  Elimination.  And almost disaster for you, my man.  Survival is key.  Whatever it takes.  Hard to remember, and just as hard to forget, the feeling of that cold sea-water green - funny that this is the first hit that the google throughout the world comes up with: http://allthatends.blogspot.ca/2006/07/sea-water-green.html.  Immersion in the depths of infinity and the like.  Can still taste that polluted water, despite the lengthy warming bath last night.  Shirt ruined by a bloody ear as well.  A most strange night, all told.  So nice to look out and see the sky this afternoon.  As a lone boat tacks into the wind in front of you.

Partly, perhaps, it was the shame and regret and misery of missing out on the Antiguan flight, and partly the sheer ridiculousness of a full-on Tuesday night drunk that was only going to end in oblivion and even that taken to extremes.  Thanks to Apple Care Plus, the damage is limited, and maybe never known to a soul other than whoever rewatches the webcam.  Vague recollections of being politely escorted out of the Alehouse, and no doubt denied entry to other locales.  The Guinness far too lovely, and the desparation too apparent as well, I am sure.  Always the same.  But the fear of not actually being able to get out of that predicament was something new, wasn't it? 

You should be over the Caribbean sea now, getting ready for landing, and yet here in the office instead.  Nursing the many bruises and plotting a ridiculous yellow-ribboned trip to Wemberly.  Such is life, I suppose, as a student once wrote in an Energy law paper all those many days (and maybe now years) ago. 

How you managed to not lose keys or wallet or otherwise, and even drive home across the bridge, remains a mystery.  And it seems all is well, but for the ridiculous statement of claim task before you now.  And the reply brief.  And the moving of the boat to its permanent location.  And the visit to the "genius" bar.  And the and the and the.  Oh my McMahon.  I really really wonder how this is going to end at this rate.  But a change, at least, has to come.

 

Walking Sideways

"You gambled and you lost.  Accept it and move on."

Wise counsel from various sources, particularly Nick (who once again comes up with hilarous lines and Greek philosophical perspective to mock your inability to take this 35th birthday trip).  Not advice that was easily accepted, but what must be must be.  Sleepless and distracted nights.  This was to be the trip to consider one potential future, a sailor's life off the grid in the Caribbean for a time.  Seems it will get the mind flowing in such directions anyway, if for all the wrong reasons.  But put simply, you got greedy with the dates and you got burned.  Now just to deal with the aftermath, and wait to see what Ms. A wants to do about it.  Aye me, it is frustrating, but life goes on.

There are worse problems.  But seeing familiar foes in the pedway does nothing to encourage an extended Halifax stay.  Even as the Southern Cross made its first journey of the 2014 season thanks to the co-captain's impressive boating skills.  And even as the conversation over a haircut today puts things in stark relief - the amount of vacation time you do get to take and so on.  It is not the most difficult of lives, but as ever the changing of your ways and the desire to cut loose from bullshit grows over time until the breaking point draws closer.  

Always, you were of the view that if you were not happy and you had the means to change it, then what is stopping you.  You had the whole of the world in front of you in Vietnam and Cambodia to consider, and back you came crawling to this very same desk.  The almost two years since have been rewarding in various ways.  Two solid sailing seasons aboard the lovely SC, and trips to Rio/BA, Old Trafford, Bahamas, Jamaica (x2), India, Russia, Tanzania, and soon the World Cup.  Further adventures in the ridiculous, and most importantly, access to the funds by which to do it. 

So think some more this summer.  I know I do not want to remain at the beck and call of utility whims.  I know I do not want to wait for future coarse travel to begin.  The clock ticks on.  Is Arsenal leading Newcastle?  Time to check in on that score.  I wonder where you might be when the business end of the Champions League rolls around next year...  We shall see.

In the interim, we walk sideways, as Nick does due to his neck pain, in waiting to learn of the plans for the rack of lamb...

Greatly Missed

Reading obituaries while waiting for this lecture to pass.  On "greening" the economy.  On the endless cliches, what people can do when they come together, etc ad nauseum.  Sustainability blah blah.  What will come of the notes being taken by this vaguely familiar old man to the right?  Why are the rest of these people here?  Why did I not seem to have recorded the reading of the closing down of summer, and yet there is time to jot this occasion down?

A rather annoying voice, and what's the opposite of insightful anyway?  Why are these talks, like so much else, so tiring?  Exhausting, even.  Perhaps because you can see the hours rolling by in which you seem to move  along  accumulating money but otherwise not closer to  the traveling, vagabond goal.

But, I suppose there is progress.  Reading of cancer, dementia, stroke, a "single dark moment",  and other  ailments which result in passings, peaceful or otherwise, that remind you all over again that it is later than you think.  Is it another day closer to the Antigua escape that may require some finessing of the truth, but needs to be accompanied by some serious thinking and conversations about how the current plans can be developed and implemented.  One week to that fine moment, first to get the boat in, the final papers marked, some Mill stuff sorted, Statement of Claim finalized, and time to look at NB contracts, and...  oh my.  Your leaving is going to be hilariously difficult to pull off.

Go do it.

Damages etc.

Blood moon eclipse.  Remember that craziness.  Just hanging on by the thinnest of haze at the moment.  A flight home from St. John's after some interminable de-icing, and your man sitting pretty in 14A preventing the leaning on the window.  MF with Justice for the first time in awhile, after Nemo Dat at Yoga a week earlier raising up the nostalgia, and the drive home for a quick rest before making up for the Arsenal timeout over the weekend.  That has your body approaching some rough shape, I have to say.  More to fix that anon, pronto, etc.  But first to record very briefly the surprise of Mr. Simms to see you in earlier than he was at 4.  The straight-time work through the morning until the brief break to land the long-sought Messi tickets to round out the set.  Then the agonizing over the discussions with the client, trying to drag them around to reasonability in the knowledge that the next round of convincing is set to take place from the Waterfront a few thousand clicks south of here.  Annoying to have to do that, but at least the return will be in time for the final filing before the madness a week later.  At least you have made it to this point.  Speaking of interminable!

Should be an interesting one to look back on, this day.  Even in two weeks, there are going to be some hyperbolic comments the likes of which have not been seen I dare say.  Read those with a smile, and record a few here before the flight lifts off, you have done what you can as a hired gun.  And GM seems to be doing well to flush his system and pop in with sage advice beyond your years.  I feel a sense of relief that I was able to put the cards so clearly on the table in terms of expectations of results.  The more LB grows confident, the more those around him should grow nervous.  Challenge.  Recalling the memo of December 2012 - this has been quite the welcome back file to the firm.  Just about ready to move along from it...

Did I mention I now have a ticket in hand to see Messi in the World Cup?   Time to drop the news around, methinks.  Tomorrow or Thursday, just to relieve the pressure let it be known around how it is all going to shake down.  But how the hell did that trigger the same lightning bolt in your mind, the International Pier and need to look into that?  Too funny.  As was misplacing your Iphone charger, so now back in the office, partly to get off the daily texts to the lady.  Ay me.  What can you do?  Next two weeks before the exodus shaping up nicely.  Briefing notes and statement of claim done, home for Easter, Southern Cross back where she belongs, and then to hear from Tommy.  All in good fun, when you get such monstrous gooses off your neck.  Breathe deep.  And keep dreaming of Wembley ;)

White Blood

Well, hard to call this a successful day, despite enjoyably sleeping through the morning.  Another rough meeting in which you are further behind than before, and that's without accounting for the sure-to-be rhetorically incensed response yet to be received from the other side following the document dump.  Every additional involvement with this case seems to be urging you out the door, hard to believe it has come to this since the initial filing of the claim way back last January.

But the larger concern is a health related one, greek words derived from the title and concerns that literally cut to the marrow.  The worst case scenario from a purely selfish perspective, and not good any whichway on a personal level either.  Just need to wind this sucker up and get it over and done, so please for the love of everything be kind to the old man and see him through the end of this and many other cases.  All the more reason to pull another almost all-nighter now and try and put this brief to bed.  Imagine returning to that news from afar today.  Oh Rhonda (and the sitting requirements for ruff, too) you have really saved my ass on this occasion.  Let's hope Antigua does not raise similar issues. 

7:52PM.  Start slowly, get into the sweet spot, and let's rattle off some pages.  See where you are at 5AM, my friend.  Through the background and direct portions, hopefully.

UPDATE: Hard to believe it is 10 hours later, and only a little over 2000 words in.  The crucial portion done though, I think, and the remainder just requires a bit of massaging and document references that can be achieved after a quick trip home to shower, shave, change, and take a well deserved 30 minute break.  What a life.  And the overall case remains as maddening as ever, as you look to avoid referencing some of the very documents that should provide assistance.  So it goes, McMahon.  And then your ally in arms (who you sent a discrete email too) has to run off to deal with another health-related emergency, this time an elderly broken hip, that is equally poorly timed.  Oh well, if it were not sad it would be funny.  Just do your work and do not take it personally.  Think of both St. John's's soon.  And the pinata pick of Larry F'n Mize and a bunch of South Africans to win the Masters.  That is the funniest of all.  Wouldn't it be wonderful if one of them went and did?

Efficient Destinies

"I sensed your sigh of relief." 

And yes it was palpable.  The client making your choice for you, helping avoid the hasty preparation of a bid document and then presentation on the return next week from NFLD.  All for what?  More work and hastle that may only get in the way of the inevitable escape?  The firm has been kind to you when it comes to mapping out the future, offering what is needed when it is needed, and ensuring things never spiral too far beyond control.  Imagine the way in which this path not taken could have spoiled Brazil, for example, and it is with relief indeed that you can close that chapter.

Destinies looks a funny word in the plural.  Maybe that's in part because properly speaking there is only one?  Some nights I would never buy that line, but at other times you wonder...  There are points that drive decisions, telescoping the options until certain routes and voyages cannot but be followed.  How much choice remains, in the end?  Somewhere in this long chronicle or in notebooks past, surely there are musings on a similar theme, about how untroubling it is that obstacles and limits and inconveniences emerge to in order to reassure and guide you along the way that needs taking?

This RFP had a strange and eery sense about it, allowing for the imagining of a possible partnership future for the next few years.  As a proper grown-up, even.  And then, like that, the curtain is (mercifully) pulled back again, and order in the future traveling universe (for now) is restored.

An interesting perspective to add to the Caipirinha conversation mixer, if nothing else.  I wonder...

Such is the Same

From eager Johnny's paper on Tidal - remember him?  Probably not, but a good simple line when lifted into the broader context.  Quite the weekend, starting with the arbitration call on Friday and over to the Arm for a root beer float and then a longish Saturday starting from scratch on a document just after 2, that turned into almost 10,000 words within 34 hours. 

Fair work.  As you wrote to yourself at the outset to get yourself going, tons of time to develop arguments, just start typing and remember Zeppelin fan EL.  It is later than you think and really it is an embarrasment avoidance exercise that pays for passage to Signal Hill again as you prepare for the long goodbye.  Hope it passes at least that meager test. 

And, as you may recall, the hours were spent in various ways - darting over to the Bitter End for sips of a Manhattan and Stella, lying in while watching the Iphone for updates of a sorry Arsenal display against Everton in the race for 4th, a little practicing of the softness of Yoga Nidra, a fine if well-cooked roast, and then the tenseness of the comedic horror film, Afflicted that really did take the mind off things in a way meditation may not. 

A varied and productive weekend all told, although not the kind you want to put on repeat.  The best part is that it strikes off at a stroke much of the work to come in the months pre-Antigua/Brazil on one significant file (you hope).  Alas, no time for work on the other, more marginal and pain-inducing case, which review of emails for relevance should start at the stroke of midnight.  Oh well, that too shall pass, and there shall be much rejoicing.

Add to that the small matter of Efficiency, and you have an interesting week ahead before the flight to the first of the two St. John's for the month.  I look forward to enjoying them both.  Ever onward.