Airy

So said Suna as a description of the house.  I like showing it for those reactions, to remember that despite the overpayment of the timing, it’s an enviable place to be.  

Patience and understanding are the watchwords.  On all fronts.  Kellybaby96 no longer has the email, but maybe it will reach the castle and cause a smile.

I’m so late in writing down the hours, and Moonshine shoot in the morning.  I should sleep and yet.  The first bottle of AA juice brings a warm glow as we await the passport.  It will serve.  MacDougall’s retirement angst as strong as ever.  Bears Korean amber remains, Gord’s voice from beyond the grave, the smiles of the little man warming the soul, the wife.

My wife. How to impart how much I love her, and her  meeting these people of the past.  It’s just magic.  Blessings.  Luck.  I don’t know.  Excited for the tv call tomorrow?  Curious… as am I.

There’s so much of Dad and Grandad in you and yet the differences so vast.  Strange to think it will be the same with our man.  Let him go to the moon. And everything else. 

Bodo/Glimt

Waking at 5AM this morning to the delightful news that the October 6th match is indeed at home, and so may be a chance for young AA to make his first Arsenal appearance.  We shall see, but either way we are close to the action and can participate in the buildup for both this one and Liverpool.  Maybe a babysitter option could even be in the cards?  Unlikely, but the key is to have the extra match on the coin flip odds.  Any chance to get a matchday haircut and enter the ground is a good one, come what may.  A massive European night against the unheard of team from above the Arctic circle in Northern Norway, ha!

1AM and the day is concluding.  Church where the preacher talked about prayer and how it got him through an extended hospital visit.  How do you pray unceasingly - live it in your life.  AA a champion throughout.  Then the comeback victory over Fulham while Mama enjoyed time out with the Zambian ladies, and then fireworks with the Inches and some lobbying of MP JB.  Full one, and the Stranskys tomorrow.  Oh my.

Philosophical thoughts striking while watching the smiles and thinking cross the face of the child.  The other people who pop up on the path, strangers there as observers, affecting how things are processed, as if you need to live up to their opinion.  Who are they, where do they come from, where do they go.  And also about the idea of pilgrimage back to place, not meaning as much in the instant moment as it should, that the return itself is the important part, and that reflection continues long after departure.  The fact of having made it, gone back, that is the... thing.  Find a better word and write it.

Sunset Havens

A wonderful parenting day, attending to the little man all morning, then a trip to CostCo full of compliments before a sleepy ride home.  Feeding through a Man City draw to put Arsenal top of the league and then a rest to avoid the crazy idea for a mama drive before the Garretts.  So funny to imagine him growing up on this street, throwing rocks at a window for his sister to let him in.  Then the inspired idea to beach it at Rainbow Haven, as Clam Harbour sandcastles a stretch too far.  Next year.  The sky and the water and the Congo elders a sign it was worth it exactly.  The real white noise machine. 

It’s approaching 11pm now, AA down for an hour, and a real belief he’ll stay that way until 5am or so.  The pleasures of the reveries and getting back to normal.  There is such a miracle in knowing the pattern and it working out.  Formula supplement the key to success.  Soon Jegede and measurements to see he remains on track and so on and so forth.  

The UK Visa came in and now it’s just the passport to go.  No writing yet but the application is getting readied and I feel it coming, as the mind regenerates in its new fashion, with new energies and perspectives.

Imagine the time traveller, and how his photographic evidence would be mocked at the Domus.  Strange.  And as a stranger give it welcome, for we know not, etc.

The GRA delay a slight stress, and there shall be other tests to manage, conflicts and otherwise, but all to the good and merry.  Focus on what is of the utmost importance.  The imminent first visit to the Thames of the family.  

The family.  Imagine that.

The Worrier

"... to fret or be tormented by anxious or disturbing thoughts."  Indeed, following the time, the ticking of the minutes in an abyss, unsure of what could possibly account for delays in response. 

And yet all is well.  Not even sure in re-reading what this was meant to apply to, PACT I assume.  I'm sure there will be future events where you will find it all too relevant.  Carry on, Montesquieu.

Communication Breakdown

 ... it's always the same.  Ha.  Same same but different another accurate way to put it.  Asking questions interpreted as hesitancy or indecision or disinterest, when the real purpose is to not come across as always imposing ideas.  Respite fleeting between swings of thought, the added complexity of the newborn entering the equation, a variable of uncertainty that makes choosing a joint plan all the more challenging.  Trying to interpret what is in someone else's head the constant struggle, for real.

Unsent text message, unintended consequences.  But you are beyond due to leave the phone in the office when at home.  Try that experiment and see how long you can make it run this week.  Who knows.

Conception Day

 'Twas.  Happy one year anniversary, hehe.

A good fuck, as I heard it told.  And now a three-month old alive as living proof.  Smile and sleep schedule just enough to start tempting the parents into just one more...  I wonder after tonight, the wind/e into the park.  The sky as the proper height for Shakespeare.  Far from the best Hamlet but there were moments even so.  Is this a poor silhouette of a man?  Old man Gary always reliable, and Polonius doubling as gravedigger works.  As did the finale, and interweaving of the last lines... flights of angels sing thee to thy rest / the rest is silence.

It hit in someway.  The play about legacy, and love, and loss.  And fathers.  Drew's last, losing his.  My first, gaining AA.  The idea of another.  Crazy and yet.  Need a name for the 2nd boy.  If it turns out to be Alice or no one, then... fair.  BUT...  Anderson and...  

Think on it, anyway.  

Plus, there is always something gained.  Laertes calling out the following line:

"For Hamlet and the trifling of his favour,
Hold it a fashion and a toy in blood,
A violet in the youth of primy nature,
Forward, not permanent, sweet, not lasting,
The perfume and suppliance of a minute; No more."

Of a minute.  Enjoyed it, even so.

Passaporte

Appointment for AA’s first a success, in and out in 15 mins.  Little man only erupted later.  Remember?  The dog-tired nature of it after the work calls, the piercing cries of tiredness.  How long will he last through this night?  As he sleeps in the cozy dreamer in between us.

The resolution to the bunkhouse chaos was as expected, and the Black Tot preservation of fire a triumph as well.  Another year, wholly new and yet the same in so many ways.

White noise and little breathing cries to your right.  This experience of watching life develop.  Extraordinary and scary and startling and incomprehensible.  The helplessness of it.  The wonder.  The thinking in terms of years.

Reading about the Old Forge, the remote Scottish pub that requires a two-day hike.  Those were the old days.  How did things land here…  believe in the holy contour of life, said Kerouac apparently, and read tonight.  I like it.  Keep going, this too shall pass at work, with the NSP annoyances and the rest.  We shall see.  

But clearly watching this guy grow will be the greatest of accomplishments, purpose, and the rest.  A continuation of the cycle.  To what end we know not, but we go on.  Exploring.